How do I develop self-control? - Januka Basnet

F𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 is 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫, 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬. However, I 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 as 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. C𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬.

𝐈𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦 𝐢𝐟 𝐰𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 their 𝐝𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 of 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝. T𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐨 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.

𝐀 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 a 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐨𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐨𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐨 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞. 𝐇𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥. 𝐇𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐇𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩.

J𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐤𝐚 𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐧𝐞𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 P𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐳𝐳𝐢

How To Develop Self-Control - Tenzin Jambey

In life, we will encounter many situations that can make us lose self-control; we also become rough, nasty, and rude with others. When we lose self-control, we lose our identity and become an evil version of ourselves with bad attitudes and deviant minds. 

What leads us to lose our "self-control"? Firstly, self-control means the ability or the power to control yourself and your mind from performing any actions or work, we often come across some circumstances it situations that make us feel angry, hateful, and annoyed, and we also think like inflicting others, this all feelings and emotions are the effects of losing self-control. People say "calm down" and "cool down" when we get angry, but their words don't reflect upon us. It is always us who can cool the anger of our self but, but for this, we need to develop extreme self-control.

There are various ways through which we can develop and make our "self-control" strong. For me, the best practices are as follows:

1) MEDITATION

I was also once an insulting boy who often ignored others and hardly obeyed my teacher's instructions. It was all because of anger and the developed urges within me. One day one of my friends suggested I practice meditation, but I was surprised to find out how it worked. He told me I just have to relax and forget about all images and memories for a while. I found a change in myself after a few days, and now I am better at controlling my anger; whenever I feel angry, I simply try to forget the cause. Therefore, one should mediate to develop self-control.

2) DEEP BREATH FORMULA

This one is very effective when you are struggling to develop self-control. We feel diffident, nervous and frightened regarding social activities like public speaking and debates. We get these emotions as we are not used to them, as in the case of writing. When we are about to perform or participate in any social activities, we need to relax for a few minutes by closing our eyes, taking deep breaths, and always making ourselves comfortable before doing any new things,  curriculum,  activities, work, etc.

These two methods are instrumental, like the word "very" itself, if they are practised well, and these methods can make a person's life look even more beautiful.

- Tenzin Jambey

Pestalozzi Children's Village India

Reflections from the book we are reading

My Reflection on Self-control - Nishan Karki

"Ultimately, the only power to which man should aspire is that he exercises over himself." -Elie Wiesel.

Self-control means controlling our feelings, emotions and actions when we are angry, irritated, upset, enraged, etc. Self-control helps us in several ways. It leads a path for us to be a good person, it leads to a good life, it leads to happiness and receives us from certain emotions such as sadness, anger, depression and evil actions such as fight, gambling, ganging, etc. There are many ways to develop self-control. I have mentioned some of them below:

1. We need to correct our way of thinking.
2. We need to have a goal in life and follow that goal to achieve success.
3. We should have the confidence and willpower to do things correctly.
4. We should focus on our work daily.
5. We should be self-motivated and inspired and also take motivation from good people.

6. We should learn to control our feelings, thoughts, emotions and actions.

- Nishan Karki
Pestalozzi Children's Village India 

We are reading.